Day 22 - Breaking More Rocks

          The second lithotripsy was a breeze. It’s only been a week since the first one. Everything looks good. I can keep using the stint that’s already in there. I’ve had a little discomfort from the stint, but it’s easily managed with the fabulous batch of oxycodone that the urologist prescribed for the pain. I’m still getting some blood in my urine, but it’s diminished. The doctor got all the rest of the stones in the right kidney.

          Life is good. If I only had a job it’d be damn near perfect. I called the Oklahoma recruiter to see what’s up with the Aerospace firm. She promised to call me as soon as she hears something. I’m beginning to think that if they were interested I’d have heard something by now. It’s easy when you’ve been fired to get eaten up by self doubt. It doesn’t matter how arbitrary the decision or how unfairly you think you were treated. At some point you’re going to begin to think that you had it coming to you.

Everyone knows that companies use economic downturns, reorganizations and the like that result in lay-offs to get rid of the bottom ten percent—the least productive and most incompetent of employees. That’s what they’re supposed to do anyway. Because people with all their prejudices, imperfections and frailties ultimately make the decision as to who will get fired, companies often get rid of very good employees along with the legitimate culls. I know this is so because I’ve seen it happen time after time—not just to me. Still when you’re on the receiving end of a reduction in force, you have to think that someone in management must have felt that you were not pulling your weight. Somehow you have to rise above these feelings of inadequacy every day in order to function, in order to get another job, in order to get past the set-back. The longer you go without work, the harder it gets to stay upbeat about your value to the rest of the world. Trust me...I know.