Change of Status

Regular readers will have noticed that I changed the subtitle of this blog from 'life on the dole' to 'life after work'. This is because I have officially changed my status from 'unemployed' to 'retired'. This actually happened some time ago, but I've still been referring to myself as unemployed because I felt the mantle of victimhood would advance the cause of this blog. Regular readers will also have noted that nothing has advanced the cause of this blog. This blog languishes in obscurity.

The change from 'unemployed' to 'retired' has not altered my circumstances one bit. I am still impoverished, uninsured, and useless. It has, however, changed attitudes, my own and those of others, in peculiar ways:

	Unemployed	Retired
Status	Flawed loser	Reaping the rewards of a lifetime of productive work
Compensation	Unemployment benefits: being overpaid to avoid work	Social Security: being underpaid for a lifetime of contributions to a fund that doesn't work
Leisure	Idle hours that should be spent looking for a job spent instead on listlessness, depression, and diminished self-worth	Idle hours that should be spent on heretofore neglected hobbies spent instead on listlessness, depression, and diminished self-worth
Dress	Wearing the same crusty pants every day for six months because I am lazy, shiftless, and insensitive to my own odiferousness	Wearing the same crusty pants every day for six months because I damn well can
Driving	Impeding traffic because, except for the rare job interview, I have no particular place to go	Impeding traffic because, except for the rare trip to Walgreens for Metamucil, I have no particular place to be
Personal philosophy	Bite me	Might be Oh, hell! It's still bite me