Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Change of Status

Regular readers will have noticed that I changed the subtitle of this blog from 'life on the dole' to 'life after work'. This is because I have officially changed my status from 'unemployed' to 'retired'. This actually happened some time ago, but I've still been referring to myself as unemployed because I felt the mantle of victimhood would advance the cause of this blog. Regular readers will also have noted that nothing has advanced the cause of this blog. This blog languishes in obscurity.
The change from 'unemployed' to 'retired' has not altered my circumstances one bit. I am still impoverished, uninsured, and useless. It has, however, changed attitudes, my own and those of others, in peculiar ways:


Unemployed
Retired
Status
Flawed loser
Reaping the rewards of a lifetime of productive work
Compensation
Unemployment benefits: being overpaid to avoid work
Social Security: being underpaid for a lifetime of contributions to a fund that doesn't work
Leisure
Idle hours that should be spent looking for a job spent instead on listlessness, depression, and diminished self-worth
Idle hours that should be spent on heretofore neglected hobbies spent instead on listlessness, depression, and diminished self-worth
Dress
Wearing the same crusty pants every day for six months because I am lazy, shiftless, and insensitive to my own odiferousness
Wearing the same crusty pants every day for six months because I damn well can
Driving
Impeding traffic because, except for the rare job interview, I have no particular place to go
Impeding traffic because, except for the rare trip to Walgreens for Metamucil, I have no particular place to be
Personal philosophy
Bite me
Might be Oh, hell! It's still bite me

2 comments:

  1. Yes, the changing of your perspective, combined with a strong dose of humor, will get you through.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your email on your blog is not enabled so I can't reply to your comment on my blog so I just want to say it cost me 47 miserable dollars to fill up a 1998 Ford Contour.

    And it wasn't TOTALLY on empty.

    ReplyDelete

Comments are always welcome. Tell me what you like and what you don't. Information, encouragement, criticism--I don't care. A day where I don't learn something new is a day lost to me.