THE AIMLESS MARTINI
This is a martini that pretends not to know what it is all about, but which achieves that sublime aimlessness with an air of sophistication and assurance. Half way through your second glass you will attain a sense of entitlement that cannot be eroded by realization of your actual station in life. On a really good day this feeling will last until the end of the glass, but while this window of opportunity is open for only a short time, it is open very wide.
- Fill a martini glass with cracked ice and water
- Fill a cocktail shaker with cracked ice
- Add 2 measures of quality dry gin, 1 measure of vodka, 1 measure of dry white vermouth, and a splash of scotch whiskey. (You can play with the scotch here according to taste. Blended scotch is fine. A smokey single malt like Laphroaig or Lagavulin add a whole new level of complication. For something completely different, try Loch Dhu, the black whiskey.)
- Cap the shaker and shake vigorously until the cold begins to make your hand ache
- Empty the ice water from the martini glass
- Strain the martini into the glass
- Garnish with 2 kalamata olives, pitted and stuffed with scotch soaked golden raisins. (This is the soul of aimlessness. This is my invention. You can't buy these anywhere. You have to make them. You have to start the day before you are going to use them so it requires a concentrated and purposeful brand of aimlessness. Use the scotch you are going to use in the drink itself. Cover a handful of golden raisins with the scotch and let sit overnight. Stuff the raisins by hand into fat, pitted kalamata olives. This requires some finesse when the raisins are plumped up with scotch. Do this before you start drinking...just saying.)
- Enjoy responsibly
I'm not going to claim that these are medicinal or miraculous in any way, but...I had one (just one) Friday night about 9:00 p.m. Saturday morning I woke up completely free of the usual arthritic pain in my knees and hips that keeps me hobbling around like an invalid until I've had my coffee and a hot shower. Obviously this warrants further study before I can make any claims, but I'm more than willing to step up to the plate in this regard. Anyone else who would like to report their results should post a comment here or contact me via e-mail.
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